How to create a Postpartum Care Plan

Baby is coming, you have read all the books and taken the classes on labor, delivery, caring for baby etc. What is your plan for how to take care of yourself during postpartum? I remember not feeling as prepared as I wanted to be for the emotional ups and downs of this time with baby. 

As a therapist specializing in postpartum care, I understand the unique challenges new moms face in balancing the needs of their newborns, their own well-being, and the dynamics with family, your partner, and their return to work if that is part of the plan. One crucial aspect of navigating this transformative period is creating a comprehensive postpartum care plan that not only addresses the logistics of caring for your baby but also prioritizes your mental and emotional health. Here's a guide to help you develop a plan:

Collaborate with Your Spouse:

• Outline daily responsibilities and routines, including feeding schedules, diaper changes, and sleep shifts.

• Communicate openly about each other's expectations and responsibilities to avoid misunderstandings. 

• Plan for quality time together as a couple, ensuring that your relationship remains a priority amid the new demands of parenthood.

Advocating for Your Needs:

• Clearly express your physical and emotional needs to your partner, emphasizing the importance of open communication.

• Establish a system for sharing your feelings and concerns, creating a supportive environment for both partners. Maybe develop a daily or weekly check in with your partner. It can be a quick scale 0-10 or where each other are at emotionally. Or make it 5-10 minutes addressing needs for the next day/week.

• Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and encourage your partner to express their needs as well.

Self-Care Ideas:

• You can begin by asking yourself “what are ways I can practice self care?”

• Schedule dedicated "me time" for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. (it can be something 10-15 minutes in length. It can even be get a daily shower as a starting point.

• Explore mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, to promote emotional well-being.

• Consider enlisting the help of friends or family to provide short breaks for self-care. Write out who are your people to call if you need help or someone to talk to.

• Ask self what food or items provide me comfort?

• What are ways my partner can help me feel recharged?

Setting Boundaries for Visitors and Family:

• Clearly communicate your preferences regarding visitation schedules and the level of involvement you desire from extended family and friends. Be specific.

• Set specific guidelines for well-wishers, such as washing hands before holding the baby or limiting visits during specified hours.

• Prioritize your comfort and well-being by establishing boundaries that align with your personal needs and those of your newborn.

Collaborating with your partner in creating this postpartum care plan will help step to build a strong foundation for your growing family. Remember, this plan is a flexible guide that can be adjusted as needed. By nurturing open communication, advocating for your needs, practicing self-care, and setting boundaries, you'll be better equipped to navigate the joys and challenges of the postpartum period. 

Getting help:

If you would like support in developing this plan or figuring out “I know what my boundaries are, but how would I communicate these in an effective way” or overcoming guilt that may arise from finding time for self-care or advocating for yourself. I can help you with this. If you reside in Colorado or Texas I offer individual and couples counseling to moms navigating pregnancy and postpartum. I specialize in perinatal mental health helping women and their families from pregnancy, birth, through postpartum. I am a caring, warm, compassionate therapist with a direct, yet gentle approach. If you would like to learn more about me and my work with moms click here.

I provide online therapy with the ability to meet you anywhere. No need to find childcare or the extra time needed to get to and from an office. 

with care,

Alison

About the author

Alison Hartman, LMFT is a postpartum depression therapist in Colorado and Texas. Offering therapy to women and teen girls helping them find relief, hope, and balance in their lives. She has been working with moms, adolescents, and families for the past 11 years helping them to build healthy, resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety. Reach out today to learn more. 

What is Perinatal Anxiety

Parenthood is a transformative journey, marked by joy, anticipation, and sometimes, unexpected challenges. For many expectant and new parents, the journey is unexpectedly accompanied by– perinatal anxiety. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders affect 1 in 5 women. 

What is Perinatal Anxiety?

Perinatal anxiety refers to excessive worry, fear, or unease experienced during pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth. While some level of anxiety is normal, persistent and overwhelming anxiety can negatively impact both the parent's mental well-being and the child's development.

• Symptoms may include racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, irritability, and physical symptoms such as muscle tension and sleep disturbances.

Treatment Approaches:

Common treatment approaches for perinatal anxiety include:

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Addressing negative thought patterns and building coping strategies.

• Support Groups: Providing a space for parents to share experiences and find solace in the shared journey.

• Medication: In some cases, medication may be considered under the guidance of a healthcare professional.

One Valuable Tip: Prioritizing Self-Care

In addition to formal therapeutic interventions, there are practical steps individuals can take to alleviate perinatal anxiety.

• Self-Care: Carving out time for themselves, engaging in activities they enjoy, and fostering a supportive network can significantly reduce anxiety levels.

In conclusion, perinatal anxiety is a nuanced aspect of the perinatal experience that requires a compassionate and comprehensive therapeutic approach. By understanding the symptoms, employing evidence-based treatments, and emphasizing the significance of self-care, therapists can guide parents towards a more balanced and fulfilling parenting journey. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with perinatal anxiety, help and support are out there. If you reside in Colorado or Texas I offer individual and couples counseling to those struggling with perinatal anxiety. I specialize in perinatal mental health helping women and their families from pregnancy, birth, through postpartum. I am a caring, warm, compassionate therapist with a direct, yet gentle approach. If you would like to learn more about me and my work with moms click here

I provide online therapy with the ability to meet you anywhere. No need to find childcare or the extra time needed to get to and from an office. 

If you live outside Colorado and Texas you can reach out to Postpartum Support International and they can connect you to a local therapist. They also offer a wide variety of support groups for moms and dads. You can click the link here to learn more: Postpartum Support International

with care,

Alison

About the author

Alison Hartman, LMFT is a postpartum therapist in the Woodlands, Texas. Offering therapy to women and teen girls helping them find relief, hope, and balance in their lives. She has been working with moms, adolescents, and families for the past 11 years helping them to build healthy, resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety. Reach out today to learn more.

Navigating the Holidays: Managing Stress and Cultivating Joy

Embracing Boundaries for a Balanced Celebration

As the holiday season approaches, it's essential to recognize the potential stressors that may accompany the festivities. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining your mental well-being. As a therapist, I often encourage my clients to establish clear limits on commitments, both social and professional. Consider what is realistically manageable within your schedule and communicate these boundaries to friends and family. This way, you can engage in the celebrations without overwhelming yourself, creating space for meaningful connections and moments of joy.

Practicing Mindfulness in the Present Moment

Amidst the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, it's easy to become entangled in the web of stress and lose sight of the present moment. Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and aware, can be a powerful tool to anchor yourself during this season. Allocate time for mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing, meditation, or a mindful walk. These practices can help ground you, reduce anxiety, and foster an appreciation for the simple joys that surround you. By focusing on the present, you can create a more positive and fulfilling holiday experience.

Fostering Connection and Gratitude

The holidays are an opportune time to strengthen connections and foster gratitude. Instead of fixating on the material aspects of the season, invest energy in meaningful interactions with loved ones. Engage in activities that promote bonding, such as shared meals, games, or even volunteering together. Cultivating gratitude by reflecting on the positive aspects of your life can also shift your perspective and enhance your overall well-being. Taking a moment each day to acknowledge and appreciate the blessings in your life can contribute to a more joyous and fulfilling holiday experience.

Seeking Additional Support

If holiday stress becomes overwhelming and begins to impact your mental health, don't hesitate to seek additional support. Therapists, counselors, and support groups are valuable resources that can provide guidance and a safe space to explore and address your emotions. Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, and there is no shame in prioritizing your mental well-being. Additionally, reaching out to friends or family members can offer a supportive network during challenging times. The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy and connection, and seeking help when needed ensures that you can fully embrace and enjoy the spirit of the season.

with care,

Alison

Alison is the owner of Hartman Therapy in Colorado and Texas. She offers therapy to women and teen girls helping them find relief, hope, and purpose in their lives. Alison has been working with adolescents, families, and adults for the past 11 years helping to build healthy resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety. Reach out today to learn more. 

Best Tip Ever: Self-regulation

Where it all started…

I took a play therapy training in 2014 by Lisa Dion, from Boulder Colorado. She started the Synergetic Play Therapy™ Institute. She went over what regulation is and how our bodies naturally respond to challenges or situations. 

When we feel like we don’t have control over our emotions, regulating our bodies is a nice place to start in gaining control of how we feel. Our bodies are a good indicator for how we are feeling even before we may be able to name the emotion. For instance, I tend to hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and jaw and sometimes it takes me realizing I have tension in my body before the lightbulb goes on and tells me “you are stressed”. 

Let’s start with how our bodies respond to situations or challenges and then we will discuss what to do to regulate our bodies.

Nervous System Regulation and Dysregulation

“All symptoms of dysregulation arise out of the misperceptions of the events in our lives. When we change our perceptions, we change the symptoms in our nervous system. It is wise to master of how to change our perceptions and how to manage the symptoms that arise in our bodies to help return us to a more regulated state”

~Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S

Your nervous system works in 3 ways

• Regulated nervous system (Mindfulness/Attached to self)

Ability to think logically and clearly

Display a wide range of emotional expression

Feeling “grounded”

Able to notice breath

Stable sleep cycles

Awareness of mind and body

Able to communicate clearly

Able to make eye contact

Able to make conscious choices

• Hypo-Arousal Symptoms (Freeze/fall asleep)

Helplessness

Inability to set boundaries

Tired

Non-expressive

Numbing

Lack of motivation

Lethargic

Emotional Constriction

Isolation/Depression

Suicidal/Dissociation

Dulled capacity to feel significant events

• Hyper-Arousal Symptoms (Fight/Flight)

Increased heart rate

“Pounding” sensation in the head

Overwhelmed/disorganized

Habitual defensiveness

Aggression

Hyper-alert

Hyper-vigilance

Excessive motor activity

Uncontrolled rage

High irritability

Overwhelms others

Anxious

All 3 states of the nervous system represent health. The idea is if you notice yourself go into hypo or hyper arousal then you do activities to re-regulate your body to get back to your baseline. 

We all participate in regulating activities without even consciously knowing it. I like to call these our natural coping skills. 

Below is a list of regulating activities (this is not a comprehensive list)

• Bounce on a yoga ball

• Drink through a straw

• Eat crunchy snacks

• Massages

• Deep pressure on arms and legs (slowly apply pressure down arms and legs)

• Take a bath or a shower

• Wrap up in a blanket

• Sing

• Classical music if hyper aroused

• Rock or fast paced music if hypo aroused

• Carry or push heavy objects around

• Isometrics (push hands together or wall pushups)

• Walk quickly

• Doodle

• Fidget with ball or play dough

• Put a cold or hot towel on face

• Dim lights if hyper aroused or increase light if hypo aroused

• Read a book

• Yoga

• Move, move, move your body

• Name what is happening in your body (my stomach hurts, my jaw feels tight)

• Breathe-deep breath in count to 4, hold for 4, breathe out count to 4

Maybe as you read through the list you noticed ones you already do. My daughter a few months ago told me, “mom, I don’t know what it is about drinking through a straw. Maybe it’s how my lips move in and out, but it is so soothing and relaxing”. My instant thought to myself was, “That’s a way your body is regulating itself”.

Another example is I notice that if I eat some pretzels or carrots when I am feeling anxious or pressured during the day I can instantly feel my jaw loosening and I can feel my whole body slow down. 

Observe which ones you typically do and try a couple new ones and see what fits for you. Paying attention to how you feel before and after the activity. The idea is to practice these when you are not only dys-regulated, but when you feel regulated as well. To help decrease the length and intensity of being dys-regulated.

With care,

Alison

Alison is a postpartum therapist in Northern Colorado. She offers online counseling helping tired, overwhelmed moms, sad teens, and frustrated parents. Alison has been working with adolescents, families, and adults for the past 12 years helping to build healthy, resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety. 

List of Books on Postpartum

I remember when I was pregnant, I probably read about 10 books on pregnancy and having a newborn. And after I had my first child I remember so many things happening with my body and emotions postpartum, that I said “why don't they write books on this experience?” I felt unprepared as my body recovered from giving birth, navigating my body image, emotions, and questioning if I could do this “mom thing”.

Below is a list of books for the fourth trimester and overcoming postpartum depression. These are not affiliate links.

Books on navigating the postpartum period-the 4th trimester

The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson

The Fourth Trimester Cards: Daily Support, Inspiration, and Wisdom for New Mothers Cards by Kimberly Ann Johnson

Therapy and the Postpartum Woman: Notes on Healing Postpartum Depression for Clinicians and the Women Who Seek their Help by Karen Kleiman

This Isn't What I Expected [2nd edition]: Overcoming Postpartum Depression by Karen R. Kleiman

What Am I Thinking: Having a Baby After Postpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman

Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers by Karen Kleiman

Books on healing and overcoming postpartum depression

Heal Your Birth Story: ...releasing the unexpected by Maureen Campion

The Mother-to-Mother Postpartum Depression Support Book: Real Stories from Women Who Lived Through It and Recovered by Sandra Poulin

Down Came the Rain by Brooke Shields

Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women's Stories of Trauma and Growth by Walker Karraa

Birth Trauma: A Guide for You, Your Friends and Family to Coping with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Following Birth by Kim Thomas

This is definitely not an exhaustive list, but I am a reader and I like to have options for books that can be informative for what you, a friend, or family member might be experiencing. I think hearing other women's stories about their experience with motherhood can be really powerful and validating. Letting you know you are not alone in what you make experiencing and there is hope in feeling yourself again.

with care,

Alison

Alison is a postpartum depression therapist. She offers online therapy to women and teen girls helping them find relief, hope, and purpose in their lives. Alison has been working with adolescents, families, and adults for the past 12 years helping to build healthy resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety. Reach out today to learn more 970-795-2100